


darling boy.

by CallMeBombshell



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 17:47:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9669422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeBombshell/pseuds/CallMeBombshell
Summary: darling boy,your shoulders may be broadbut there are onlyso many crosses you can bearbefore you break;





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> for izsak, because his tags on tumblr are so beautiful and are like 90% of why i ended up writing poetry for this ship before i wrote actual proper fic for them

darling boy;  
boy of metal,  
boy of stone,  
boy of broken glass;

boy of knife-sharp edges  
and broken pieces  
boy of steel-strong bones  
and paper-thin skin  
hidden beneath leather and anger  
and guilt for things you’ve never done

darling boy,  
tall-standing boy,  
the straight line of your back  
marred by your bowed shoulders,  
as though you sometimes wish  
that you could make yourself  
smaller somehow,  
as though you wish you could shrink  
beneath the weight  
of all the things piled on your back:

the expectations of parents  
who want you to be all the things  
that they could never be;

the history of all the things  
your parents did that they wish  
they could hide away;

all the sins they committed that  
they have tried to make you pay for  
in their stead;

darling boy,  
your shoulders may be broad  
but there are only  
so many crosses you can bear  
before you break;

the evils done by others  
are not your sins to repent for;

you need not hammer nails  
through your own hands  
to atone for  
the blood on the hands of others;

the sins of the father  
(the sins of the mother)  
need not be visited upon you  
your need not lead yourself  
to slaughter like a lamb  
so your parents may be forgiven  
for things they have never  
felt guilty for;

darling boy;  
full of fear and anger,  
boy of guilt for things that  
should never be counted sins;

when did you first believe  
that you deserved only  
hard edges and dark corners,  
only harsh words and accusations;

when did you first believe  
that you deserved the cruelty  
and disdain, the blame  
for things that should never have  
been your responsibility  
to begin with;

when did you first believe  
that there was something  
wrong with you;  
when did you believe  
that who you are  
was something to be  
hidden away,  
something to be buried,  
something to be suffocated,  
strangled until you stopped wanting,  
with every breath,  
all the things that you  
were always made to believe  
you could never have;

when did you first start  
to blame yourself  
for all the times you weren’t perfect,  
all the times you failed  
(all the times you were  
set up to fail,  
no matter how hard  
you tried)  
all the times too much  
was asked of you;

darling boy,  
made of trembling hands,  
made of bruises that don’t show  
and scars that you can’t heal  
for all the thousand cuts  
you suffer every day;

darling boy,  
all quicksilver hands  
and hawk-sharp eyes;

darling boy  
of unbroken strength  
despite your breaking heart;

darling boy  
so full of love that sometimes  
you think you might choke  
for all the times you haven’t  
been able to show it  
in the ways you wish you could;

darling boy,  
with your bleeding hands  
to match the bleeding of your heart,  
standing in the dark  
in front of a man who you love  
more than you have words to say,  
or experience to name:

darling boy,  
you are learning to love the way  
your breath catches in your chest  
when your hand brushes against his  
when he stands  
just close enough to feel his breath  
against your cheek  
when he turns to speak to you;

darling boy,  
you are learning to crave the feeling  
of your terrified heart  
beating rabbit-fast inside your chest  
every time your eyes meet his,  
when he looks at you with  
shining eyes blown wide  
with wonderment and awe;

darling boy,  
boy of so much doubt  
and so little faith,  
do you believe him when he says  
that you are something new,  
something to be cherished with  
careful hands and gentle smiles;

darling boy,  
boy of so much gentleness  
and so much care,  
boy of so much love  
and so much fear  
that you will never be enough,  
that you will always disappoint;  
boy of so much tenderness,  
boy of shaking hands  
holding out your battered heart  
and waiting for the pain  
waiting for rejection and praying  
that maybe, just this once,  
you will be proved wrong

darling boy,  
boy of crumbling walls  
and cracking shields,  
boy of creeping hope  
and blooming joy;

darling boy,  
hold out your hands for his,  
meet him with eyes open  
knowing that he sees you as you are,  
as something beautiful,  
something to be held close and dear,  
knowing that he is falling  
just as hard as fast as you are,  
knowing that he will guard your heart  
as fiercely as you guard his;

darling boy,  
know that with your whole heart,  
you love,  
and are loved  
the same.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi [on tumblr](http://moonyinthesky.tumblr.com) :)


End file.
